MY CHILD HAS ADHD
Your child’s health care provider may have told you that your child has ADHD. A lot of the time, parents figure this out before any professional tells them about it! ADHD is one of the most common disabilities. ADHD can make it very challenging to participate and learn alongside peers.
It’s super-challenging to be the parent of a child with ADHD, especially if you or your child’s other parent also have ADHD. There are many excellent resources that you can read to learn more about ADHD. Here are some of the resources that we commonly recommend:
CHADD. Children with ADHD
Academic medical center websites, including Massachusetts General Hospital for Children, Yale Child Study Center, and others
essential skill: impulse control and inhibition
The Essential Skill that’s missing or under-developed in children and youth with ADHD is the skill of Impulse control and inhibition. Impulse control is needed to suppress an immediate desire, and instead focus on something that might be less desireable or interesting.
Impulse control is necessary for following rules. “Don’t eat the chocolate chip cookies until after supper” and “Don’t speak out in class, raise your hands first” are two skills are very hard for children with impulsivity to show consistently. Stop at the cross walk and look for traffic both ways” is another rule that is very important to be able to follow. Inhibition works the same way, but it includes remaining focused. “remember the steps of the task, don’t get distracted, stay focused, and remembver the steps you need to complete your tasks. Impulse control hels you to follow a rule that you have been taught to follow. Inhibition helps you to remember the steps needed and to remain focused on a task.
Impulse control is a skill that develops with brain growth and over time. Think about how impulse control is mastered in young children. When children are 2 to 3 years old, they do not have the skill of impulse control. Whatever might be interesting catches their eye. They focus their attention on that. If you ask them to do something boring, hard, or unfamiliar, it’s pretty likely that they won’t stay focused unless you are physically present to help them.
By the time children are 4 to 5 years old, they show some impulse control. They can make it through a boring task (such as getting dressed) and not get distracted by toys that might be lying on the floor. They can control themselves when they see a plate of delicious chocolate chip cookies on the table, and wash their hands and eat supper before they eat the cookies.
Impulse control is much more secure by the time a child enters into grade one. Their attention span is longer, and they don’t get distracted as easily. They can sit and do the hard work of grade one for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, something they were not able to do in preschool or kindergarten.
Impulse control continues to develop with age and is especially important when you have to function outside of your usual routines. The goal for the learner with ADHD is to master daily routines and activities without getting distracted- Or, to master strategies to address impulsivity whenever they notice that it’s getting in their way. Impulse control is the first step we take when we have to make a choice between two or more options. impulse control allows us to choose the best behavior for the situation.
what impulsivity looks like
When a child is acting impulsively, they do the first thing that comes to mind. Even though they might remember the rule about chocolate chip cookies, they’ll go ahead and eat one even when it’s not the right time. Even though they know that you’re supposed to wait your turn before speaking in class or before taking a turn in a game, they go ahead and speak out loud or take a turn when it’s not the right time. Even though they have the desire to please adults and want to play successfully with peers, their weak or limited impulse control skills make it harder for them to do as expected.
When children with impulsivity are confronted by their parents (“Why did you eat the cookies?”) they might respond by saying that they ‘forgot’ about the rule. Or, they might simply deny that they ate the cookies altogether. Perhaps they’ll make up an excuse for why they broke the rules, even when it does not make much sense. Peers can get frustrated by the impulsive behaviors that their playmates sometimes show. The child with impulsivity sometimes loses social opportunities because of their behaviors. Impulsivity that running in front of cars is one example of impulsivity that is usually alarming to adults because of
Distractibility and forgetfulness. When children lack inhibition skills, they get distracted easily. An adult might give an instruction, but the child quickly forgets what they were told and do not follow through on the instruction. Sometimes, children with under-developed inhibition skills start a task successfully, but then do not complete it. It’s for the same reason- they got distracted. When reminded about what they’re supposed to do, they sometimes remember (“oh yea, I remember now,” they might say). Just as often, children won’t remember at all. The parent, who is now frustrated, might wonder why their child keeps not following instructions. The child might say: “I forgot.” Just as commonly, the child might say: “You never told me to do that”
So, impulse control is needed to control impulses and follow social and safety rules. Inhibition is needed to suppress impulses in order to remain focused and remember what you’re supposed to do. both of these skills are challenging for the child with ADHD.
Ready for a deeper dive?
Are you ready for a deeper dive? If your child is making some progress with impulse control, consider teaching them about some of the other Essential skills that learners with ADHD need to master: Working memory and planning (sequencing) skills. Click on the button below